Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

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Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead. 
Now it goes to school with her, 
Between two hunks of bread. 

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JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun. 
Stupid Jill forgot the pill 
And now they have a son. 
 
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SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair. 
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man, 
"What have you got there?" 
Said the Pie man unto Simon, 
"Pies, you dumb S.O.B." 
 
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HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, 
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. 
All the kings' horses, 
And all the kings' men. 
Had scrambled eggs, 
For breakfast again. 
 
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HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, 
All over the bedside clock. 
The little dog laughed to see such fun. 
Then died of electric shock. 
 
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GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie, 
Kissed the girls and made them cry. 
And when the boys came out to play, 
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay. 

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There was a little girl who had a little curl 
Right in the middle of her forehead. 
When she was good, she was very, very good. 
But when she was bad........ 
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
 
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